Source: Lori Lite – Stress Free Kids
Holiday crowds, lights, noise, strangers, hugging, change in routine, and some chaos. This is a recipe for stress and sensory overload during the holidays for children with special needs including adults with IDD (Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities). As parents and guardians, we need to be flexible with our definition of what a holiday should look like. Our childhood traditions and rituals may not work with our special needs children. Let’s create new memories and newly define what holidays look like for our own families. All children can benefit from this exercise, and for those with Autism, Asperger’s, IDD, or Sensory Processing issues, self-regulating is a way of life. When you have a child with special needs a little stress-management planning can go a long way.
There are some ways we can all contribute to making the holidays happier for the whole family.
Set Up a Safe Brain Break Space: Your loved one can enjoy downtime when they feel over-stimulated at your house or your relatives. Set up a brain break space and be sure that the other children and guests know that this space is off-limits. Empower your special needs child to recognize when they need to go to their brain break space. Practice, practice, practice ahead of time to know when the mood is escalating. Did I say practice? Empower children by packing a relaxation bag they can go to if they are feeling anxious. Bring earphones and their special relaxation music or stories. Playdough, stress ball, music, video game, even a camera can help children relax and give them a focus if they have social anxiety.
Get Ready: Social stories, books, and movies can be a big help in preparing your child emotionally for holidays. Comfortable clothing and small dose exposures to holiday sounds can help physically. Think ahead with an eye for anxiety causing issues. If wrapping paper too loud? Use easy open bags or just decorate with a bow. Are the electronic bears with bells at Grandma’s house going to cause sensory overload? Ask her to unplug them before you get there. Let friends and family know about triggers ahead of time. If your child doesn’t like to be hugged suggest a handshake or just a wave. Your friends, family, and special needs children will be glad you did.
Prepare Your Children For Gatherings: Eliminate unnecessary anxiety associated with getting together with family members you rarely see by looking through photos of relatives prior to your event. Play memory games matching names to faces. This will help your children feel more comfortable with people they may not have seen in a while. Aunt Mary won’t seem quite so scary when she bends down to greet your child.
Use Relaxation Techniques: Incorporate deep breathing or other coping strategies into your day. Let your children see you use techniques when you are feeling stressed. Encourage them to use relaxation techniques on a daily basis. Breathing, visualizing, and positive thinking are powerful tools.
Incorporate Positive Statements Into Your Dinner: This is empowering and reflective. Each person at the table can state an attribute of their own that they are thankful for. For example, “I am thankful that I am creative.” Feeling stressed? Try, “I am thankful that I am calm.” Your special needs child can prepare ahead with a drawing or sign language if they want to participate without speaking.
Don’t Rush: It’s simple; none of us are very good at rushing in a relaxed way. The two do not go together. Make sure you leave enough time to enjoy the journey and avoid meltdowns. Children with special needs should be given notice of transitions.
Write Things Down: Getting the constant chatter and lists out of your head decreases stress and anxiety. Kids love making lists. Give them a clipboard or dry erase board. Help your child make a list of what they want to do for the holiday. It might be helping decorate or what to pack for a self-care relaxation bag. This will help you relax and help your children feel involved. Encourage them to add happy words like laugh or draw a smiley face on their list.
Schedule Downtime: Don’t overbook your children. It’s important to use holiday time for relaxation. Try staying in pajamas till noon. Pop your favorite popcorn and watch a movie when you wake up. You’ll be surprised how an hour or two of relaxation can rejuvenate your children’s bodies, minds, and spirits.
Be Flexible: Relax your expectations and definitions of what a fun experience is for your children. Most of us do not need the full-blown exhausting experience of holidays to reflect that we had a good time. A few positive minutes is worth a lifetime of memories!
Let The Children Participate: Let your children do one thing for the holiday that makes them feel proud. Kids can collect acorns or place a few jingle bells into a bowl for a beautiful, stress-free centerpiece. Children can fold the napkins or put the forks out. Let them draw a special picture to place on your guest’s chair. Be prepared to accept their participation as perfect and beautiful. Restrain from correcting or straightening out the napkins and enjoy the holidays with your special needs child
These are just a few suggestions to make a happier holiday for you and your loved ones with disabilities. Flexibility and creativity will go a long way.